Mysteries of the Museum.

“Look at this stuff,” you think as you wander around the museum, your footsteps softly echoing as you make your way from one artefact to the next.

“Isn’t it neat?” your thoughts might continue if you were American or predisposed to using ironic, retro-cool colloquialisms in your internal monologues.

The King’s Library, also known as the Enlightenment Gallery.

As you make your way through the galleries, wouldn’t you think that this museum has everything,  their collection must be complete, surely? I mean, look at this trove with it’s treasures untold. How many wonders can one place hold?

This is how I feel about the British Museum; looking around you think “Sure, it’s got everything.”

Just look at the things around you, right there on the museum floor – such wonderful stuff surrounds you, what more could you be looking for?

The answer has been hinted at already if you look closely…

Once upon a time, on a drizzly day in Newhaven, we happened across a troupe of travelling museum folk who happened to have with them a mermaid from exotic Fee Gee. Having already come across a “mermaid” and having grown up watching Ariel and Flounder I consider myself a little bit of an expert on all things Homo Sapiens Maris.

“How many nipples does your mer-person have?” I asked in all seriousness. A quizzical, rather confused face was all the response I received -the poor, unfortunate soul – and so I explained myself further. According to the experts at the Booth Museum, male mer-folk would have only two nipples, while the female of the species would have many in order to more effectively suckle the younglings.

“Did you know that there’s a mermaid in the British Museum?” Leonidas C. Grymm asks me. I have to say, I did not; and so I embarked on a daring adventure to track down the marvellous mythological mermaid in the museum!

The creature’s lair is hidden in the mysterious recesses of the King’s Library of the museum. With that as my only clue to my quarry’s whereabouts I ventured forth.

(Yes, I could have asked the gallery assistant, but where, I ask of you, is the fun in that?)

Eventually I found her, needless to say I did not want to kiss the girl. No amount of cajoling from musical crustacean could convince me to…

The Poor, Unfortunate Soul.

This example, I have to stress, is not the famed Princess Ariel. No, this one had been donated by HRH Princess Arthur of Connaught, and was said to have been ‘caught’ in Japan in the 18th century, and to have been given to Prince Arthur by one Seijiro Arisuye.

If you liked this post, you might enjoy the British Museum themed badges at the Museum of Museum Badges.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. museumsaskew says:

    Well, I suspect she hasn’t used a dinglehopper on her hair for centuries. Give a girl a chance to freshen up before you judge too quickly.

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